Like many parents of strong willed children, Angel Camden, a mother from Virginia, was at the end of her tether with her four year old son. One day she decided to do some research on how to cope with the situation. She set out to experiment with five elastic hairbands fastened to her wrist. Not because she wanted to ensure her hair was neat and tidy throughout the day. This act was for reasons that would serve to further help stabilise the relationship between her and her son.
Angel explained about the hairbands. “I’ve found myself so incredibly stressed out, I beat my head against the wall daily because I don’t understand why my four-year-old insists on being disrespectful and a non-listener. I was to the point of crying at least every other day.
I wore 5 rubber bands on my wrist from the time I got up, to the time I tucked him in just now. The 5 rubber bands represent every time you lose your cool or say something unkind to your child. Every time that happens, you move one band to the other wrist. To “gain the band back,” you must do 5 kind/positive things with your child – a dance party, singing a song together, reading together…”
Angel got her inspiration from relationship expert Dr John Gottman.
The theory, “The magic ratio”, explains that as long as there are five times as many positive interactions between people as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable.
“I’m going to be using this method until it becomes a habit and basically turns into an autopilot ritual,” Camden said on her Facebook post. “I have finished the day with all five bands on the original wrist. I’m very proud of myself for exercising patience with him. I know it’s only Day 1, but I’m hopeful this will help our communication skills and our relationship.
So what do you think?
In my option and I could be wrong this lady just had a normal sometimes naughty kid. Rules and boundaries from a young age will enforce tolerant and calm behaviour. Don’t shout and scream as that just tells him that if you shout and scream you get what you want.
Try having a kid like I did. Screamed for 3 years constantly and didn’t go through the night until she was 4. You won’t be transferring hair bands to each wrist. You will be wrapping them round the kid’s effing throat!
Angel Camden article sourced https://www.goaskmum.com.au