Fat Fighters Unite!

Things only people who’ve joined slimming clubs will know.

Fat Fighters unite and laugh as you nod to every single point made below!

  1. You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. Even if it’s -2 degrees outside you’ll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your tits off.
  2. You’ve considered weighing in wearing just a swimming costume.
  3. There’s always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.
  4. You’ll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.
  5. There’s always a Pauline in the group who ate 8 sausage rolls at her cousin’s funeral and put on 5 pounds in a week.
  6. You will not eat a thing before weigh in. Even if weigh in is at 8 pm.
  7. You’ll praise a Susan who maintained.
  8. Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.
  9. Group leader: “You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to…..but you won’t be able to” You: “I beg to f**king differ Linda”.
  10. There will always be one lone man called Peter in the group who loses 9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap but you’ll all secretly hate the b*****d.
  11. You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home….massive shit.
  12. The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are “better than chip shop chips”. This is bollocks, Linda. Total Bollocks.
  13. A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.
  14. Linda is no skinny cow herself and doesn’t follow the plan.
  15. Syns/Points don’t count if it’s to help cure a hangover. They also don’t count if you’re eating them off another person’s plate.

image credit BBC 

About Baby Bel

I'm a single mum, waiting on my knight with shining armour but the best I can hope for is my 7 year old wrapped in tin foil. You can normally find me on my hands and knees (cleaning the kitchen floor). Getting wet in the bathroom (cleaning the kids honest). Dirty in the garden (digging weeds). Being creative in the kitchen (spaghetti hoops on toast ah viola!)

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One Comment on “Fat Fighters Unite!”

  1. I remember this well. Slimming World on a Tuesday night. Ordering a massive Indian take out on way home and enjoying every mouthful, knowing I had a week to work it off.
    I also plastered my bathroom walls with Quark. worked well!

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