Things only people who’ve joined slimming clubs will know.
Fat Fighters unite and laugh as you nod to every single point made below!
- You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. Even if it’s -2 degrees outside you’ll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your tits off.
- You’ve considered weighing in wearing just a swimming costume.
- There’s always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.
- You’ll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.
- There’s always a Pauline in the group who ate 8 sausage rolls at her cousin’s funeral and put on 5 pounds in a week.
- You will not eat a thing before weigh in. Even if weigh in is at 8 pm.
- You’ll praise a Susan who maintained.
- Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.
- Group leader: “You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to…..but you won’t be able to” You: “I beg to f**king differ Linda”.
- There will always be one lone man called Peter in the group who loses 9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap but you’ll all secretly hate the b*****d.
- You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home….massive shit.
- The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are “better than chip shop chips”. This is bollocks, Linda. Total Bollocks.
- A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.
- Linda is no skinny cow herself and doesn’t follow the plan.
- Syns/Points don’t count if it’s to help cure a hangover. They also don’t count if you’re eating them off another person’s plate.
image credit BBC