The rules of online dating have changed. These days it’s a whole new ball game.
Gone are the days of playing hard to get, the man should always pay and “giving out” on the first meet.
You won’t do yourself any favours if you start on a negative when writing your profile. Pointing out what you can’t do and don’t like gives the reader a sense of negativity, to begin with. You want to make yourself sound like a catch and not insecure and needy. Sell your positives. You don’t buy a car “because it is okay”.
But not too much!
Arrogance is a major turn off. “I am wonderful and great at everything. I don’t understand why I am still single”. Speaks volumes…You love yourself too much and don’t have the ability to love others. Point out your strengths but don’t fill your profile with your sense of own self-worth.
You are a tiny fish in a large pond and you need to stand out and get noticed. Walks in the rain and watching the sunrise will bore your potential beau. They will just jump to the next profile before that sun as risen. List your favourite music/artist and why. Your favourite place for a first date. The most memorable trip you took. List your adventures. You don’t have to be Indiana Jones you just have to be different to the Jones’s next door. You are selling yourself as a commodity.
Take the Glory
Never tell a potential suitor your mates wrote your profile for you. You are telling people you are not able to give an honest account of yourself, think for yourself and more than anything lazy. I couldn’t be bothered so I made someone else do it, does not really give you a good first impression.
Leave your bag at the door.
We all have a past. Good or bad. Leave it exactly where it is. Never admit in a profile or first date the nightmare ex’s you have or why the relationship failed. This is a later conversation. Get to know each other in the present before you get to know each other’s past.
Forget the Shopping List
Some online dating profiles look like a letter to Santa. Blue eyes, long legs, 6 foot (and no shorter), 6 pack and on and on. You are selling yourself not compiling a wish list. If you love tattoos say it but don’t demand it. You will make yourself look like a control freak and trying to build the ideal partner. Your soul mate could be reading your profile but jump over you as he is 5 foot 10. Is 2 inches worth the loss?
Ready for your close up!
Don’t even bother not posting a profile picture. A blank no photo profile is telling the reader I am so ugly I’m not taking the chance of a knockback or even worse I’m married and I’m not being caught. The same for an out of date photo. Don’t use a picture any more than 2 years old. Imagine the shock and embarrassment for you both if you turn up and they are expecting a 10 stone, blonde goddess with perky boobs and laughter lines and in front of them is a much older version of the photo whos piled on a few pounds (stones), dyed hair to cover the grey, boobs considerably lower than they were and the laughter lines have now turned into facial canyons. Be honest. This is who you are and they have to like it or lump it.
More men advertise on online dating sites than the woman so girls get the pick of the crop. Don’t get too down in the dumps if no one takes a fancy to you on your first attempt. Take a look at other profiles. Pick up tips and rewrite your profile, maybe add more than one photo? Also, one thing to consider men will write profiles and wait to be contacted. Don’t just sit and wait. You are the chaser!
Be in control. You don’t have to write someone a novel, just pick out a couple of points in their ad and write a quick intro email. If someone emails you don’t make them wait for a response. Treat em mean, Keep em keen is not the name of the game. There’s plenty more fish in the sea and they will just move on.
Return to Sender
You don’t have to reply to a negative. Thanks but you’re not my type is more hurtful than a no reply. Don’t feel guilty. It’s a fact of online dating. Some you win, most you lose. If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.
The First Date
Remember you are meeting a stranger. Everything that has been text and emailed to you is make-believe. The person sat on the other side of your computer could not be the person they have made you think. Don’t fantasise you are meeting Prince Charming, you may end up with a frog. But don’t lose faith. There’s someone out there for you. The fun is finding them.
If it all goes well and you are both attracted to each other there is nothing wrong with sex on the first date. You are both grownups, single (hopefully) and as long as you are protected what’s the problem? It’s your choice. Never be pushed into any situation you are not comfortable with.
I Just Called……The 3-day wait rule is old hat. If you like someone you have nothing to lose by letting them know. If they are not interested in that first date at least you know. Time to move onto soul mate search number 2.
It’s a sad fact but you don’t know who you are meeting. Everything that has been told to you could be a Fairytale. Make sure it does not end up a nightmare.
Always let someone know where you are going.
Always meet where there are other people.
Be honest, if you are not comfortable telling your date.
You don’t owe them anything. You can just leave.
If they are honest and sincere they will understand.
If you feel you are in danger, tell someone.
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