Menopause comes to every woman. The same as day follows night. No escaping it. It’s coming to get you. On average this happens around 45 but could be earlier, could be later? Did we all start our periods at the same age? It’s coming to you. The Change!
Keep a watch out for the tell-tale signs your baby making days are coming to an end.
You become more emotional
Hormonal changes cause non-standard reactions. You can suddenly burst into tears when watching a usual TV show.
You always think about chocolate. Even when you are full and already had 2 bars the desire to eat one more piece does not vanish.
You start gaining weight
No shit Sherlock you just ate 24 bars of chocolate from point 2.
It’s either you fall into deep depression or turn into a screaming lunatic ready to rip someone’s head off……hang on didn’t we do this when we were 13 14 15 years old. So temperamental teenager has become mardy menopauser?
Almost all women face this symptom. Nothing to can do about it. Knock back some pills or have a few drinks. Deal with this one.
You start to forget some things. What did I come upstairs for? Walk always back down….oh yeah needed a wee….walk all way upstairs…..What did I come upstairs for…..repeat this until you either get to the bathroom or wet yourself on the landing? This is normal.
During menopause, some women start to notice hair growth on their chin. Either get to the docs for some HRT or rip the buggers out every time you feel one.
During the day you feel hot flashes and start to sweat. Sometimes it gets so hot that you’re ready to hide in a fridge. At night it’s one leg in, one leg out. Duvet on, Duvet off. Clothes on, Clothes off. Cancel your gym membership you are going to the burn ladies!
You know that you should not say everything you think, but you just cannot stop. Your inner monologue breaks. If you think it, it falls out your mouth.
Touchy feely ewwww
You do not like it when someone touches you or comes too close. Get away from me. Don’t breathe on me. I can hear you thinking!!!
Hormonal alteration of the body is reflected in constant and fast fatigue. But ain’t you felt like this for last 30 years? That’s called motherhood!
If you liked your little ankles, then it’s time to say goodbye to them. From now on your legs will not look so elegant. That little flat belly you were so proud of is now a bump resembling a 6-month pregnancy. Aint Mother Nature a bitch.
So in a nutshell…..you waited 14 years to get your period. Mother Nature screwed you every month for the next 30 years and bloody hell she ain’t letting you get away so easy on the womb retirement party. Welcome to the sisterhood ladies. Don’t you wish you had testicles?
But remember, it’s possible that all of the above symptoms of menopause may not start at once. Every woman is individual. But if you do not cope with them on your own, be sure to seek medical help.